A raw, honest story of leaving the 9–5 life as a single mum to pursue freedom, nature, and a more meaningful way of living.
Have You Ever Looked Around and Thought… Is This It?
Wake up. Pack lunches. Go to work. Pay bills. Repeat.
I’ve always felt like there was more. Even when I was young, I had this pull toward nature… and a quiet resistance to what everyone else called “normal.”
The white-picket-fence life never made sense to me.
And when I had my son, Xavier, that feeling didn’t go away.
It got louder.
They say kids are like sponges — but it’s much more than that.
They’re little reflections of your internal being. They are mirrors.
This is something I’ve also seen in the ocean — how quickly your state reflects back at you. If you panic, everything gets harder. If you stay calm, things open up.
It’s something I’ve written more about in my guide on CO₂ tolerance training for surfers, because learning to control your breath changes everything in high-pressure moments.
The Moment That Hit Me
One day I was moving this massive table by myself — classic single mum move — trying to lift it into the back of my unnecessarily lifted ute.
I pulled a muscle and let out a loud, frustrated:
“Fucking hell.”
Now, I used to swear a lot — i picked that up quickly in the army at 17 — but Xavier had never really heard me like that before.
For the next two weeks?
Every time he dropped something or hurt himself…
“Fucking hell!”
At the top of his lungs. In the shops. At the park. Everywhere.
I couldn’t even be mad. It was actually funny.
But it hit me.
They don’t just copy what we say.
They copy how we live.
How we handle stress.
How we speak to ourselves.
How we move through life.
And in that moment, I realised…
If I wanted something different for him —
I had to live differently myself.
Becoming a Single Mum Wasn’t the Plan
I never thought I’d be a single mum. In fact i never wanted kids until i was around 35! When biology and hormones kicked in and start quietly suggesting the idea, it lead into a full on scream. So i went off the pill and my husband of 8 years and i tried for 6 months. I think it was new years day i took the pregnancy test and 8 months later he arrived. Before he was 5 months old i was single.
It was a shock and I definitely didn’t think I’d be doing it without a plan.
The grief wasn’t just the relationship ending.
It was the loss of the future I thought I was building.
It took time — a lot of it — but eventually I started to see it differently.
Not as a breakdown.
But as an initiation.
Freedom Was Always My Default
Freedom and adventure have always been my core values — even before I had the words for them.
At 17, I joined the army. Not for discipline… but for adventure.
After six years, I sold my house and travelled solo:
- Snow seasons in Lake Tahoe
- Living in Dublin
- Kitesurfing through Mexico and Belize
- Travelling France, Portugal, and Morocco
Then I found surfing.
And everything changed.
It wasn’t just a sport.
It was stillness.
Connection.
A way back into my body.
Surfing isn’t just about catching waves — it became a way to reconnect with myself. If you’re newer to surfing or coming back after time away, I’ve also put together a guide on getting back into surfing with confidence, especially when life has shifted.
Nature stopped being something I visited…
And became something I needed.
Walking Away Without a Backup Plan
So here I am.
42
A single mum.
Letting go of stability.
No job.
No childcare.
No real “plan.”
We left with just a car, a swag, a surfboard, and a camera. Upgraded to a roof top tent and now in an ex ambulance sprinter van, a single mum doing van life in Australia.
I’m not leaving the 9–5 because I have something better lined up.
I’m leaving because every part of me knows I can’t keep living a life that doesn’t feel right.
We’re told:
- making money matters more than presence
- security matters more than freedom
- productivity matters more than connection
But none of that has ever felt true to me.
And I refuse to pass that belief on to my son.
This Isn’t the Dream Life You See Online
This isn’t a polished version of van life.
It’s messy.
Some days, it’s really hard.
I’m exhausted.
I’m walking 40+ km a week to keep up with my incredible energetic son.
I miss having space. I miss silence.
I barely get 10 minutes to myself most days.
I want to build something online — but content creation feels draining.
I want to make money — but I’m still figuring out how.
Some days I feel like I’m failing.
But I’m still here.
Still moving.
Still choosing this life — even when it’s uncomfortable.
What I Want My Son to Learn
I don’t care if Xavier grows up “successful” in the traditional sense.
I care that he knows:
- You can trust your instincts
- Nature is a teacher
- Stuff doesn’t matter — presence does
- You don’t have to follow the rules
- You can build your own version of life
So we explore.
We spend time outside.
We figure things out together.
I’m not teaching him to chase success.
I’m teaching him how to be free.
If You Feel This Too…
If you’re stuck in a life that doesn’t feel like yours…
Change it.
You’re just living a story that was handed to you.
You don’t need all the answers.
You don’t need the perfect plan.
You just need to start.
Because your kids are watching.
And even if you don’t have kids…
You’re still watching yourself.
What’s Next
Right now, we’re moving slowly down the east coast of Australia.
Exploring. Learning. Adjusting.
Next:
- NSW
- Victoria
- Tasmania for hiking
And eventually… Indonesia.
I don’t know exactly how it will all unfold.
But I do know this:
I won’t regret choosing to live.
Final Thought
This isn’t just my story.
It’s an invitation.
To question the life you’re living.
To reconnect with what actually matters.
To stop waiting for permission.
And to realise…
There’s another way.