I remember standing in the car park getting ready for one of my first surf sessions after years away from surfing.
I’d forgotten how to put my wetsuit on properly.
At one point I genuinely had it on backwards.
As ridiculous as it sounds, that moment perfectly captured how I felt.
Not like an experienced surfer returning to the ocean.
Like a complete beginner.
For years surfing had been a huge part of my identity.
I planned trips around swell charts.
Travelled through Portugal, Morocco, France and Spain chasing waves.
Spent countless hours in the ocean.
Then life happened.
Pregnancy.
A C-section.
Single motherhood.
Years travelling Australia with my son.
Building a business.
Creating a different kind of life.
Before I knew it, five years had passed and I’d only surfed a handful of times each year.
I expected the biggest challenge to be fitness.
I was wrong.
The biggest challenge was confidence.
And what surprised me most was that returning to surfing wasn’t really about surfing at all.
It was about learning to let go of the person I thought I was supposed to be.
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5 Things To Do Before Your First Surf Back
- Choose a small, friendly day.
- Use more board volume than your ego wants.
- Focus on catching waves, not performance.
- Accept that the first session may feel awkward.
- Celebrate paddling out, regardless of how you surf.
Why Surfing After A Long Break Feels So Humbling
Most surfers expect to lose fitness after time away from the ocean.
What catches many people off guard is how quickly self-doubt appears.
You paddle out.
The waves feel bigger than they used to.
Your shoulders burn faster.
You hesitate on waves you once would have paddled for without thinking.
Suddenly the surfer you remember being feels very far away.
Many surfers returning after years away discover that confidence becomes a bigger challenge than fitness. If you’re learning or returning later in life, you may enjoy Am I Too Old To Learn To Surf?.
I spent a lot of time judging myself during those first sessions back.
I should be surfing better than this.
I used to surf all day.
I used to paddle circles around people.
I used to feel comfortable in bigger surf.
Sound familiar?
The problem wasn’t the conditions.
The problem was the comparison.
The Trap Of Comparing Yourself To Your Old Surfing Self
This is where I see many surfers get stuck.
Especially women.
Especially mothers.
Especially people returning to surfing after a major life change.
Every session becomes a comparison between who you are now and who you used to be.
You compare your fitness, confidence, wave count and performance.
And somehow you always come up short.
What we often forget is that we’re comparing ourselves to a completely different version of ourselves.
A version with different responsibilities, priorities and circumstances.
For years I thought I’d failed because I wasn’t surfing every day.
I wasn’t running retreats.
I wasn’t living the surf lifestyle I’d imagined.
But looking back, I wasn’t failing at all.
I was raising my son exactly the way I wanted to.
We watched dolphins pushing bait balls across empty bays, tracked Tasmanian devils through the Tasmanian bush and explored beaches most people will never know exist.
Looking back now, those years weren’t a failure.
They were some of the most meaningful years of my life.
The problem wasn’t my life.
The problem was the story I was telling myself about it.
Looking back, many of those stories had become automatic thought patterns, which is something I explore in Why Negative Thoughts Get Worse While Surfing.
My First Session Back
One of my first sessions back was at Redgate in Western Australia.
I remember feeling nervous before I even paddled out. Everything felt unfamiliar. I felt rusty and disconnected from the surfer I used to be.
Many women experience a similar feeling when returning to crowded lineups after time away from the ocean. If that sounds familiar, read Why Women Feel Intimidated in the Surf Lineup.
Then something unexpected happened.
A shark cruised past in the crystal-clear water.
Years earlier that probably would have sent me straight back to the beach.
Instead I felt excited.
Grateful even.
It reminded me that despite all the years away, the ocean still felt like home.
Not because I was surfing well.
Not because I was fit.
But because that connection had never really left.
What surprised me most was how much my body remembered.
Reading waves.
Positioning.
Ocean awareness.
Even my pop-up.
Those skills returned far faster than I expected.
The thing that didn’t return as quickly was trust in myself.
One of the ways this showed up for me was hesitation on waves I would once have paddled for without thinking. If you’ve experienced something similar, read How To Stop Pulling Back On Waves.
Confidence isn’t muscle memory.
Confidence is trust.
Trust in your body.
Trust in your decisions.
Trust in your ability to handle whatever happens next.
And that takes longer to rebuild.
Wave by wave.
Session by session.
For a long time I believed I’d fallen behind.
Other surfers were progressing, travelling, building businesses and surfing every day.
Meanwhile I was raising my son and only surfing occasionally.
Looking back now, I realise I wasn’t trying to return to surfing.
I was trying to return to an old identity.
Finding Ocean Connection In Other Ways
One of the biggest lessons I learned during my years away from regular surfing was that connection to the ocean doesn’t have to disappear just because you’re not surfing every day.
For a long time I thought surfing was the only way I could access that feeling.
The freedom.
The adventure.
The sense of being fully present.
But during those years travelling Australia with my son, I discovered those same feelings in other ways.
Photography became one of them.
What started as a creative outlet eventually led to ocean photography, surf photography, wildlife photography and countless hours spent exploring coastlines I might never have noticed otherwise.
I wasn’t always catching waves.
But I was still connected to the ocean.
And looking back, that connection helped make returning to surfing feel much less intimidating.
Sometimes we think we’re losing part of ourselves.
Often we’re simply expressing it differently for a season.
Don’t Wait For Perfect Conditions
One mistake I made repeatedly was waiting for the perfect opportunity to surf.
The perfect conditions.
The perfect schedule.
The perfect energy levels.
The perfect childcare arrangement.
The perfect weather.
The problem is that perfect rarely arrives.
A few weeks become a few months.
A few months become a few years.
The longer you stay disconnected from surfing, the harder it can feel to return.
If you’re coming back after a long break, don’t worry about having the perfect session.
Focus on having a session.
Even if it’s small.
Even if it’s messy.
Even if you only catch one wave.
Consistency rebuilds confidence far more effectively than waiting for perfect conditions.
Many surfers believe confidence comes naturally with experience, but in reality it often comes from learning how to stay calm under pressure. Read How To Build Ocean Confidence As A Surfer.
Practical Tips For Returning To Surfing After A Long Break
Start Smaller Than You Think You Need To
Leave your ego in the car park.
Choose smaller, friendlier conditions and focus on rebuilding confidence rather than proving anything.
Use More Board Volume
Most returning surfers catch far more waves and enjoy themselves more on a slightly bigger board.
There’s no shame in making things easier.
If you’re unsure what board to ride after a long break, my guide to the best surfboards for older women may help you catch more waves and rebuild confidence faster.
Focus On Wave Count
Don’t judge the quality of your surfing.
Focus on catching waves and reconnecting with the rhythm of the ocean.
Build Paddle Fitness Gradually
Your shoulders and paddling muscles will come back.
Be patient.
Trying to force it often leads to frustration or injury.
Improving mobility and shoulder function can also make the transition back into surfing feel much easier. I cover some of my favourite exercises in Best Mobility Training For Surfers.
Find Your Community
Returning to surfing can feel easier when you’re surrounded by supportive people.
Groups such as Surfing Mums Australia, women’s surf communities and local surf groups can provide encouragement, accountability and friendship.
Sometimes simply knowing you’re not the only one starting again can make a huge difference.
Rebuild Your Surf Fitness Without Burning Out
While confidence was my biggest challenge returning to surfing, paddle fitness was definitely the second.
The good news is that fitness usually comes back much faster than confidence.
If you’re struggling with paddling endurance, shoulder fatigue or simply feeling surf-fit again, following a structured surf-specific training program can make the transition much easier.
I’ve personally found the resources from Surf Strength Coach useful because they focus on helping everyday surfers build strength, mobility and longevity in the water rather than training like professional athletes.
Final Thoughts
Most people don’t need to become someone new.
They need to remove the pressure, beliefs, fears and identities that disconnect them from who they already are.
Returning to surfing taught me that the ocean had never left.
I’d simply spent a few years learning the same lessons in a different classroom.
Through awareness, nature, adventure and self-trust, we can create a life that feels more alive, connected and free.
Sometimes returning to surfing isn’t about getting back to who you were.
It’s about remembering who you’ve been all along.
For many women, becoming a parent changes not only how often they surf but also their relationship with the ocean. I share more of that journey in Surfing as a Single Mum.
Related Reading
- Am I Too Old To Learn To Surf?
- Surfing as a Single Mum
- Why Women Feel Intimidated in the Surf Lineup
- How To Stop Pulling Back On Waves
- Best Surfboards For Older Women
Frequently Asked Questions
How long does it take to get back into surfing after a long break?
It depends on your fitness, experience and confidence. Most surfers find paddling fitness returns first, while confidence often takes a little longer.
Will my surfing skills come back after years away?
In many cases, yes. Skills such as wave reading, positioning and timing are forms of muscle memory and often return faster than expected.
What’s the hardest part of returning to surfing?
For many surfers it’s confidence rather than fitness. Comparing yourself to your old surfing ability can create unnecessary pressure and frustration.
Should I use a bigger board when returning to surfing?
Often yes. More volume generally means more waves, more fun and a faster return to confidence.
What if I’m returning to surfing after having children?
Start slowly and be patient with yourself. Many women find that confidence and consistency take time to rebuild, but the joy of reconnecting with surfing is often worth the effort.